Sluts vs. Manwhores

I found this cartoon addressing the double standard we have for the sexual behaviour of men and women. If a woman has many sex partners, she is quickly labelled a slut. That’s a very negative word and it is understood that you don’t want to be called a slut. Now, if a man sleeps around, people may call him a manwhore, or a player… or playa, as it might happen. There’s no negative stigma to the word “player.” It’s almost an honorary title. This cartoon attempts to prove there is nothing wrong with having such double standards.

Misogynist cartoon

 

That’s the most misogynist statement I’ve seen in a while. I wonder which planet the author of this cartoon lives on? At least in the world where I live, “400 pound, ugly, disgusting women” usually do not attract multiple sex partners. Chances are, they won’t attract even one. The claim that women don’t need to be attractive to be desirable is simply bizarre.

As for the “science and hard work” those so-called manwhores put in to get their looks? News flash: genetics apply to women too. So much for the “science.” Also, it may come as a surprise to some, but women work hard for their appearance. Most women don’t just happen to be slim and toned, and they don’t just roll out of bed in the morning with their hair and make-up done, nor do spiffy clothes and shoes just magically appear into their closets. So much for the manwhore’s “hard work.”

The last panel resorts to the washed-out internet meme where misogynist idiots reply to any argument made by women by telling them to go back to the kitchen where they belong and to bring the man a sandwich. That’s supposed to end the argument and to signal that nothing the woman says is of any consequence. Pathetic trolling as it is, the meme is still nasty. It’s about as funny as making jokes about slavery to black people.

The cartoon and its poor rhetorics aside, the double standards for men and women belong in the past. As far as I’m concerned, the number of other people’s sex partners is none of my business. I don’t care how many one night stands a person has, or how many failed relationships they have had in the past. Calling someone a slut or a manwhore based on the number of their sex partners is sandbox behaviour. Adults should be able to get over such things.

Anyway, cartoons such as this are a clear indicator that feminism is still very much relevant. The author of the cartoon may be alone with his misogynist ideas. He’s probably just another sad troll, but the problem is that impressionable young people may see his trolling, and think it’s okay to behave in this way. That’s why everyone who doesn’t feel the need to trample on women should stand up and say “No!” to the sandwich meme as well as to the double standard this cartoon defends.

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About inmyinternest

A thirty-something woman, watching the world turn
This entry was posted in Feminism, Men, Misogyny, Relationships, Women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to Sluts vs. Manwhores

  1. I have, over the years, had many sexual partners. I’ve had open relationships in which I was seeing several different men at once and they all knew about it. The neighbours would gossip, an a girl who is still my friend many years later was told that she could no longer babysit one woman’s daughter because she “insisted” on hanging around with “That slut next door”.

    I am not a slut. Women like to “sow their wild oats” too, when they can – and there’s no reason that a healthy female shouldn’t do that. But because I’m blonde, slim and pretty I am automatically seen as a slut when out and about – especially if I am chatting to a lot of men. I like men; I have more male friends than I do female.

    Is my husband jealous or mistrusting when I talk to other men?

    No. He knows that I only have eyes for him. He also knows that I am vastly sexually experienced – and he doesn’t think that makes me a slut.

    I knew a guy who couldn’t get a girlfriend in spite of his good looks and owning a house (it might have had a lot to do with him being a creepy stalker). He *decided* to become a player and talked about it as though he should feel proud of screwing around with women’s emotions. I’ve fallen victim to “players” in the past and it’s a really horrible feeling to be used in such a manner.

    Guess who he tried grooming first? Me. Yes, in spite of him knowing my husband he would call me several times a week to talk about being a player and try to chat me up.

    He and I are no longer friends.

    I think that’s my feminist rant about double standards over for the day. Having been given labels such as “easy”, “slut”, “maneater” etc over the years, I have very strong feelings on this matter.

    • It has never happened to me but I imagine it would be pretty hurtful to be called a slut, or even to hear about it in a round-about way like you did. It was strange enough to be called a vamp! The term is more flattering but it hints at the same thing. But really, the only thing I had done to earn the moniker was to be out-going, so it felt a bit odd. Like, can’t I even be social without people making the assumption that I go around?

      When I was in my senior year in high school, a friend advised me that I shouldn’t smile so much because it looks so flirty. I mean… what!? I think it shows how strict ideas the society has about what’s proper behaviour for girls. But, well, that was over ten years ago. These days 18-year-old girls are probably giving each other tips on how to be as flirty as possible, rather than the opposite! lol!

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  4. Socialkenny says:

    First off,I’d like to say that feminism or femi-nazism is the worst enemy to men(aside from Lesbianism).

    You’re right though:there is a double standard.

    I’m a dating coach in the seduction community.Our material clarify the whole double-standard issue.

    Women in a sense should be grateful for the double standard.Either that or they’d be labeled as whores.

    A chic can’t afford to be banging guys all over the place.

  5. Um… if you really think feminism is somehow harmful to men, you might want to read the rest of my blog. I’ve talked about that before.

    • Socialkenny says:

      I doubt that you agree with me on this(feminists are man-haters who wished we never existed).

      • Absolutely not! Feminists have nothing against men, and we aren’t trying to do away with the differences between men and women. Feminists are simply saying that all humans are of an equal value, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation, or how they choose to express it.

        If you have some other ideas about what feminism is, you’ve probably got those ideas from anti-feminists.

        • Socialkenny says:

          Well ironically,I stumbled upon this blog via a post by “The Private Man”,he’s a fellow member of the pick-up artist/seduction community.

          So,just like I am,he’s pretty much anti-feminists.

          Why we disagree with feministic views is that as men,it is impossible to accept women as our equals(physically,emotionally and biologically.

          • Oh, well, there you have it, then! That’s why feminists are pissed off with you. It’s not the seduction coaching as such, it’s your general attitude that women are somehow inferior.

            As to that feeling of superiority, why do you think you have it? Not all men share that feeling, you know. Ironically, some of the fiercest feminists I know are men! It’s not that they think women are better or stronger than men, or that women are no different from men. It’s just that they think we’re all equal despite our differences.

            It’s not just about gender either. I believe in equality in all things: gender, sexual orientation, race, language, religion (or lack of religion), age, ethnicity – nothing justifies inequality.

  6. Socialkenny says:

    Well you’re definitely gonna disagree,but the western world is feminized.Men literally has gotten our balls cut off by a feministic west.Men aren’t men anymore in American particularly.

    We pander to women(in the West) nowadays.

    How this relates to what I do(pick up women),is that women are NOT attracted(in any way)to weak men/Beta males(as we call them).Women do NOT want a man who’s equal to her(sexually,emotionally,nor psychologically).

    So,although a girl may say she wants a man who’s her equal.When she does get a man/BF who operates on equal planes,she will run the hell over him,treat him like shit,then cheat on him and dump him.

    Alpha males on the other hand(like I am),we are the only real men left in the west who understand that women do not want men who are equal.They are attracted to men who are superior in nature,behavior,sex,etc.

    It’s biological.Didn’t mean to get too deep lol.

    • lol! Sorry… this reminds me of a comic about pick-up artists. I’m going to post it because it’s funny. No offence…

      The thing is, I’m sure some women really are attracted to the so called alpha males, or macho men, but I just find them funny. I think the strongest men with the healthiest self-esteem have no trouble treating women with the same respect they treat other men. That’s what attracts me.

      You shouldn’t clump all women together, and assume we all like the same thing. Some women like to submit, some like to dominate and others like to be equal. You may even find feminists who function in relationships in some other than equal capacity. People’s sexual kinks don’t always coincide with their views about gender equality.

      My point is, one philosophy is never going to be a be-all-end-all answer that leads to success in relationships (or in picking women up) because we are all individuals. What works for one is not guaranteed to work with another. The only solution is to find a woman (or women) whose outlook match(es) yours, and work out an arrangement that suits you both/all.

      • Socialkenny says:

        Lol I’ve seen this comic thing few months ago.Honestly,I really didn’t get it(if it was supposed to be humorous).IDK,maybe I forgot lol.

        Back to the debate!

        Alphas do respect women.We have no probs with respecting women.It’s just that we know what attracts women in courtship.And we know that women are biologically programmed to respond to men of dominance,superiority and status.

        On the contrary,she’s turned off by men who lacks dominance.

        And BTW,PUA’s(pick up artists) are the coolest guys women could ever meet.

        Our big thing is giving women conversational experience that they could never get from Beta males/wussies who suck up to them.

        Despite our stress on dominance,we’re not those guys roaming around as if they have the weight of the world on their shoulders.

        We’re that fun guy who’s smiling,looks confidence,chatty,super social and funny.

        Which girl would not like that lol?

        • Obviously I have nothing against chatty, fun and social guys… just not SUPER social, thanks all the same. They are a bother. Social is good but SUPER social is bad. But I have absolutely zero tolerance for dominance from guys. It’s a real turn-off. I tend to be rather dominating myself but I strive for equality in my relationship. I could never be with a dominating man. We’d kill each other! (I’ve tried and it didn’t work out.)

          All that crap about biology is basically just that… crap. Yes, we are biological creatures but that doesn’t mean we aren’t individuals with different characteristics and different tastes. I have never liked men who think themselves somehow superior to women, i.e. machos, and I never will. You can keep telling yourself different but out of the two of us, I think I know better what I like and what I don’t like. Remember, I’m 31. I’ve had time to figure these things out. When I was a teenager, I would have been an easy target for pick-up artists. Now they just make me laugh. That’s good, too, especially when they don’t realise I’m laughing at them as much as their jokes.

          I don’t need men to suck up to me. I’ve never met a man who would do that anyway, unless we count the ones that come from traditional macho cultures. They are the worst. But feminist men don’t suck up to women. They have normal, easy relationships with women, so they’re good company.

          • Socialkenny says:

            Lol you’re a woman.

            For what reason on Earth would you want to be dominant?You(as a woman)were not created to be dominant.

            That’s why feminism is anti-God,anti-biology and anti-men.Yall want to be men(virtually).

            And the reasons why feminists cannot get a man is because men are absolutely turned off by women who are dominant(even 1 bit).Only man who would date a woman who’s dominant is a guy who lacks self-esteem.

            You’re a woman.Your role in life should be a feminie one.Not a masculine role.

            • Oh sheesh. Sorry, I didn’t realise I was talking to a believer. But no, I wasn’t created for anything. I wasn’t created, full stop. My birth was a coincidence and so was yours. That’s my world view. You should try it! It’s very liberating! Seriously though, you don’t have to accept my world view, but neither can you use yours to tell me what I should be like. I am the way I am because I just happen to be this way. And funnily enough, quite a few men find me attractive, so there goes your theory about only submissive women being attractive.

              Also, you’re wrong about me wanting to be a man, in any capacity. I enjoy being a woman. It’s just that our ideas of what it is to be a woman are different. My idea is that women and men should be whatever they want to be. Simple as that. Everyone is free to be themselves, and no one has to listen to outsiders telling them what they should be like. If you can’t agree with that, then we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

  7. Socialkenny says:

    Believer lol?

    If you meant as in religion and God,I’m actually not a believer.I’m an atheist and agnostic.If you read my blog,although I mainly post about how to seduce chics,10% of my articles are religion-bashing rants lol.

    Also,I have a segment/page where guest can submit article to my blog.The 1 main stipulation is that the article must NOT be advocating religion nor God.

    So that’s where we agree lol.I do believe were just here.

    I only used the term anti-God,assuming you were religious.Many of your readers are most likely religious,so my statement is still applicable.Women being dominant is anti-God.If one doesn’t believe in God,then we can say nature.It is anti-nature i.e.unnatural.

    • Well, you certainly came across as a believer, and your outlook is a rather typical Cristian conservative, so when you brought up God I just assumed you were speaking about your own views. But God is a non-issue, as far as I’m concerned. I know religion is very important to many people, and some of them a likely reading this blog, but if a person lets a religion dictate their opinions, then I don’t stand a chance of making a difference with that person anyway, so why should I pretend to take the issue seriously?

      Anyway, there are feminists who are religious, and feminism is not anti-God. But you could say that Christianity has some very misogynist notions. There’s no reason why Christianity couldn’t abandon those notions. After all, Christians have stopped stoning to death men who cut their hair and women who wear clothes made out of mixed fabrics, and shellfish are no longer an abomination. If there was a God, I don’t think he or she would want humans to stick to the stage of social and psychological development we achieved thousands of years ago. If there was a God, I’m sure he or she would want us to continue developing our civilisation.

      So sorry, but your mind-boggling ideas have already given me a headache so I won’t go into that whole natural order thing. But I’ve talked about it before, at least in passing. If you’re really interested, you should be able to find those entries through the tags. Anyway, the gist of it is that the same argument about social and psychological development of our civilisation applies to the natural order, too. Perhaps you haven’t noticed but we don’t live in the jungle anymore!

  8. Socialkenny says:

    You made many good points.

    But this is where you get it wrong:humans are biologically the same as we were millions of years ago.We’ve evolved obviously,but the roles have never changed:men are the dominant sex.And women respond to dominant men.That is ingrained in ever women.

    If someone was to rob a bank that you’re in,psychologically,you would rather a man come to your rescue than a fellow woman.Be it a male cop opposed to a female cop.

    If a plane was to get hijacked,you(and any guy)would feel more comfort in knowing they were MALE agents on that plane(to possibly overtake it),opposed to female agents.

    You may not admit it.But that instinctively is in you.

    Men are protectors of women.That has been our role since the inception.Women seek us for that emotional and physical protection,just as in the caves as Neanderthals,etc.

    The reason why pick-up and seduction(what we teach)is so successful in seducing ANY woman,is that we study biology and psychology,and combine it into the art of seduction.

    The average guy who doesn’t have this insight,he falls short and get lucky once in a while,because he doesn’t know that NICENESS is a turnoff for women.

    Until he realize that woman respond to assholes,and dominant guys who will push her buttons and treat her like a subordinate,it’s only then he’d start to bang girls regularly opposed to relying to luck.

    • We’re biologically almost the same as millions of years ago, but not quite. Subtle evolution happens all the time. For example, the structure of the brain is different for those of us who have been using computers and especially the internet all our lives. The brain adapts to different circumstances really quickly.

      As for women responding to dominant men – I sure do! But it’s not a positive response.

      As for the reactions in the situations you described about bank robbery and plane hijacks, those are your views. I’m sure a lot of people share those views, but not everyone. I have grown up in a world where female cops are just as reassuring as male cops, so I don’t care about the gender of the cop who defends me against attackers. Of course, men are naturally stronger than women but if the cops have guns, then I’m counting on the woman because women are usually more accurate shooters, believe it or not!

      I’m not sure I believe your pick-up strategy is successful every single time, but if it’s successful most of the time it’s because confidence is sexy. But as soon as the women realise you’re not only confident but also seek to dominate them, they might have second thoughts. I say “might” because I know full well that some women like to be submissive. But that doesn’t mean all women like it. Better believe it.

      Oh yeah, a certain kind of niceness is a turn off. If the man lacks a spine, so to speak, niceness doesn’t save his act. But you don’t have to act superior to women to show that you have a spine.The feminist men I know are confident and secure about themselves and their identity as a man, but they don’t assume to be above women. They treat women as normal human beings, which is the best approach, as far as I’m concerned.

      • Socialkenny says:

        Yes,they are some biological and evolutionary changes,but when it comes to courtship:it’s still the same process.Man court women,men pursue while the woman is inactive.

        Still to this day,men are the hunters(when it comes to women).Women will rarely(if ever)court a man or seduce a man in a way a man will pursue her.It’s not her gender role to approach men.

        In spite of how much a feminist you are,and how dominant you are,you do not have the balls to approach a random guy at a bar,etc.and make the move on him.It’s not the woman’s biological role to do that.Never has been.

        That is 1 of the things that never changed over the course of millions of years.

        • lol! lol! You’d be surprised! I’ve hit on men, and successfully, too. Apparently I defy your laws of evolution pretty badly!

          But then, like I’ve said, I’ve grown up in an environment where gender equality has been taken for granted. I was never taught that women shouldn’t chase men, so I don’t see how it would be so unnatural for me to do so. And there you see, the gender roles are learnt behaviour rather than biologically set. Of course biology determines some of it, but not all of it.

          And no, I would never approach a random guy. Only the ones I find attractive, and I’m choosy!

          But yes, on the dance floor it’s usually the men who approach women, not the other way around. It’s far more usual for the men to make the first move, but it’s not uncommon for the woman to take the initiative, at least not in Finland. But even in Finland, I get hit on far more often than I hit on somebody. But then, I’m married so I have to avoid hitting on people anyway.

  9. Socialkenny says:

    BTW,I’ve been blowing up your blog as far as commenting and interacting:in other words,bringing you traffic lol(even from my readers).

    But the irony is,you haven’t commented on my blog posts as yet.That’s bad blogging of not reciprocating.

    We’ll catch up on my blog or on your other posts.

    • Yes, you’ve been bringing me traffic. And a headache!

      I’ll check out your blog at some point but you’ll understand why I’m not naturally interested in a seduction coaching blog… I’m not a man looking to pick up chicks! (And even if I was looking to pick up chicks, I don’t believe in your method and it probably wouldn’t work for me anyway.) Besides, judging by your comments here, I’m thinking your blog might piss me off, and I don’t come to wordpress to get pissed off (even though I talk about serious things here).

      All the more so, I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment here, even though my views are obviously different from yours.

      • Socialkenny says:

        Lmao I don’t only blog about picking up chics.

        90% of commentors on my blog are women.

        What I blog about(75% of times)are dating,relationship,sex,pick up issues and insights.

        I rarely blog about,”How to get a girl’s phone # within 2 minutes or less”.That is what you’ll find on most seduction community blogs.

        What I do blog about is stuff like,”Women need to tone down sarcasm in order to attract men”.

        So most of my articles are about social issues,but in courtship.

        • Oh, okay… we’ll see. 🙂 But I’d only leave you ornery comments like “Have you considered that women may enjoy being sarcastic, without caring a fig whether or not it attracts men?”

  10. Socialkenny says:

    And the reason you respond negatively to dominant men,is because those men are domineering lol.

    You’re mixing up Domineering with Dominant.

    Domineering has a touch of controlling and ownership.

    Dominant,as from the PUA’s standpoint is a guy who’s confident,not afraid to approach the OHD(object of his desire),he’s comfortable in the spotlight,etc.Those are qualities of a dominat/Alpha male.

    Women go crazy over such men(as you eluded to).

    Domineering men on the other hand,they are frowned upon by us.We don’t advocate “Controlling”.That is a Beta male/weak man’s quality.

    We only dominate women in bed lol.

  11. Socialkenny says:

    Of course every woman has hit on a man.But it’s subtly.

    But a woman will absolutely never go up to a man and say,”I wanna fuck you.I want you to fuck me”.

    Even when a girl is hitting on the guy,the guy is still the 1 who’s proactive.

    The gender roles are learnt behaviors,and almost every woman on the globe adhere to them.

    • Well yeah, women do it more subtly. At least I do, and I only know one woman who would go up to a man and say, “I wanna fuck you. I want you to fuck me.”

      But then, every time a man has tried his luck with me with that line, or something similar, my gut reaction is, “Pffffft! In your dreams!” That line doesn’t go down very well with me.

      Well, no pick-up lines ever go far with me. If it’s very original, I may laugh. But again, talking to me normally will impress me much more. It feels like it takes more guts to approach a woman as yourself, without resorting to pick-up lines or hiding behind an act.

      Hm, I think you might find the gender roles rather different if you came to Finland or other Scandinavian countries. I had a bit of a culture shock when I lived in England for a while. The gender roles there were something like I imagine they were here when my mum was young. We’re very progressive over here but I wouldn’t have believed the difference if I hadn’t experienced it myself!

      • Socialkenny says:

        Wow,first time chatting to a Finnish chic lol.I might be tempted to seduce you from your husband.

        A misleading thing about the term pick-up artist is,ppl would naturally assume that we use pick-up lines.Well,we are anti-pick up lines to the fullest lol!!

        We use openers(as every guy does),but never something like,”Hey beautiful,heaven must be missing an angel ’cause I’m looking at one”.

        No!We don’t use crap like that.

        We use routines and openers to break the ice.

        • Like you’d have a chance at seducing me, after everything you’ve said! Tsk tsk. Remember, I like feminist men?

          Openers, pick-up lines…. well, we all need to open the conversation with something, so I can’t say I object to openers, lol! But if it sounds too good… you know, too clever, too suave, or too anything, it’s going to have me rolling my eyes. Of course, if the routine is well rehearsed enough so that it doesn’t look like a routine, so that it just seems like a regular guy being himself, then I wouldn’t know it’s a routine, would I? But then, why go to all to that trouble to appear to be your natural self, when you could just be… your natural self?

          Okay, I’ll leave you with that. I’m really going now. I still have that headache so I’m not going to sit here all night arguing. 🙂

  12. Socialkenny says:

    Bullshit!

    Everything women do(socially especially),is in hopes of attracting men,or at least leaving a good social impression on men and ppl in general.

    So there’s no such thing as a woman being sarcastic ’cause she doesn’t care about her image or how she’ll be perceived.

    And sarcasm is 1 of the fastest ways to turn off men.I blogged about it a week ago.It stirred up the bloggersphere.And a lot of women(readers)learned from that article.

    • What? Now you’re making wild assumptions without any basis to them. You’ll just have to believe me when I tell you: I don’t care about attracting men. Obviously sometimes I do care, but not even half of the time. I have other interests besides attracting men. I can’t even believe anyone would think that women would always want to attract men! The mind, it boggles!

      Sometimes I even use sarcasm specifically to turn men off. Better believe it!

      • Socialkenny says:

        If you don’t care about making a good impression on men,then would you go to a bar or nightclub in a dress which makes you look too fat?

        Would you go to a social gathering with curlers in your hair?

        Would you go to a club without looking dolled-up?

        I think not.

        And you’re right,if you wanna turn a guy off:then double down on sarcasm lol.That’s my point.

        But for women who’re still on the market,they should NOT use sarcasm.And you agree.

        • Would I go to a nightclub in a dress which makes me look too fat? I have done, yes. I had a dress that always made me look fat. I gave it a few tries because I liked the dress, but eventually I threw it away because it made me look bad. I still wore it to clubs before making the decision to get rid of it, though!
          I also often go to bars wearing completely un-flattering clothes like baggy t-shirts and jeans, or quirky dresses that I like but that couldn’t possibly be attractive. The reason is, I go there to hang out with friends, not to attract men. See, I told you I have other interests besides attracting men!

          Also, I have gone to nightclubs without looking dolled up! Sometimes it’s a spur of a moment thing: I go out to have a drink at a casual bar with friends, not bothering to dress to the nines, and then someone suggests going to the club next door, and we go, even if we’re not dolled up for clubbing. I can’t believe you thought women don’t do that!

          But I wouldn’t go out with curlers in my hair, I admit that much. But going out with curlers would also make me look like I had some mental issues in addition to looking unnattractive…

          “if you wanna turn a guy off:then double down on sarcasm lol.That’s my point.”

          Yeah, and my point was that women don’t always care about what men think about them. I’ve always been fond of sarcasm, whether I’ve been in a relationship or not, so it has nothing to do with being on the market. I like sarcasm and I use it. If a man doesn’t like it, bugger him! I really. don’t. care.

          Also, trying to change your personality or your sense of humour to attract men would be pretty stupid. Then you’d be attracting men who like the person you pretend to be, instead of the real you!

          Anyway, it’s getting late so I’m going to go now. It’s been an interesting talk and I’ll try to get back to you asap, though it might not be tomorrow because tomorrow’s a busy day.

          • Socialkenny says:

            You’re full of shit.Peace out.If it’s 1 thing I discovered about femi-Nazis is that yall are liars.

            Peace out.Hope your blog survives without my valuable input.

            When you learn to stop lying,talk to me.

            • Riiight… and here I thought I was having a meaninful conversation with you, only to come back to this lovely piece of pre-school rhetorics. Charmed, I’m sure. You know what, I’m not taking any more crap from you. I won’t publish abusive comments from now on. You can comment here but only if you can do it without resorting to name-calling or calling me a liar.

              And you know, two can play that game! You haven’t given me any reason to believe your claim that you’re a Don Juan who can seduce any woman you like. However, I decided to take your word for it. Otherwise we wouldn’t have got very far in our debate because we would have been stuck at calling each other liars like a couple of pre-schoolers.

              What is it that you find so hard to believe anyway? That a woman can’t be confident enough to go out in a dress that makes her think she looks fat? Seriously? Come on! Just the fact that over-weight women go out and party proves you wrong! If women couldn’t get over the feeling that they look too fat, most of us would never leave our houses, what with the pressures to be stick-insect thin to look good!

              I don’t know how you have got the idea that women are too insecure to go out if they don’t look their best. It certainly doesn’t apply to the Finnish women I know, but it can’t be a cultural issue either because I really can’t believe all American women are as insecure as that! Some women may well be that insecure, but it’s really surprising if you’ve never come across a woman with a healthy self-esteem!

              Be that as it may, judging by your previous comment and some of the others I only just read, it seems you only wanted to provoke me all along. The word “femi-nazi” reminded me that you didn’t even start out politely, which I had forgotten. When you first used that word, I thought you were just trying to be funny, and I didn’t think poor sense of humour was enough reason to not publish your comment. But from now on, if you want to have your say here, don’t call me names.

  13. Riiiight…. well I’m glad to hear there’s a distinction between the two. The thing is, too much confidence is still a turn-off, whether the guy is domineering or just dominant. I know these overly confident men refuse to believe it, they always do. Perhaps that’s because their approach works on so many women. But when they meet the one who doesn’t go crazy, you’d think they’d listen when she’s telling them where they get it wrong. But they never do! And then, why should they, if the same thing works on so many others! I’m just saying – these aren’t god-given facts or natural laws. People are different.

    • Socialkenny says:

      Well that is where “Calibration” comes in.That is a PUA concept which means the guy should raise the cockiness and confidence,or lower them,depending on how the interaction is going.

      As a guy becomes a seasoned PUA,he’d naturally learn “Social Vibing”(through many hours of conversations).He can just look at the woman and tell how high or low his confidence level should be.

    • Richard Thomas says:

      I happen upon your blog site via Google…I really did not want to spend a great deal of time reading.. but I ventured on reading the dialogue between you and SocialKenny. He finally met his match and I am glad you fixed him good…cheers to you…I hope Kenny at the least learnt from your discourse …that Yes! men and women are different but equal. Good Job! Keep up the good work. My advice to Kenny: He needs to learn how to talk ‘Woman’ … unfortunately…its not a subject they teach in schools. I guess he will have to learn this on his own.

      • Thanks for saying that! At the time, I still thought there’s a dialogue to be had with those types, but I don’t think it amounted to anything. Besides, it took more time and energy than I was willing to invest in it. So now I just delete comments from the likes of SocialKenny. Unless they’re civil and honestly trying to understand my point of view, which is usually not the case.

  14. Pingback: Witches, Bitches, and Broads « Women in Contemporary Relationships

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