Dear Younger Self,
I was wondering why you are so obsessed with size. I know you won’t admit it but if you’re not obsessed with size, why do you keep trying to lose weight so that you would fit into size 34? Surely there’s nothing wrong with size 36?
Remember when you bought that cardigan in size 32? It was a lovely cardigan, just your style, fun and relaxed… except that when you put it on, it was so tight the buttons gaped. It was obviously, ridiculously, too small for you. They didn’t have that cardigan in size 36, not even 34, but you decided to go ahead and buy the size 32 anyway. You thought it would look fine if you only lost a few kilograms.
The problem is, you didn’t have any fat on you to begin with! How could you fail to see that? Looking at the photos now it’s obvious that you were slim and trim… just not underweight like the models in all the ads, but still, you were very fit. You didn’t have any extra curves. Actually, you hardly had any curves at all. Going down two clothes sizes would have required starving yourself to the point of losing all your muscle, and even then size 32 might have been tight.
I know you never admired anorectic bodies so I really don’t understand the obsession with fitting into the smallest possible size. Was it really because of all the ads that make underweight women look so good? If so, it’s a good thing you met someone who worked in an advertising agency. Otherwise you might never have realised how much the pictures of those skinny models are edited. Starving girls become radiantly beautiful women by grace of photoshop, not because they wear the smallest possible clothes size.